Monday, July 04, 2005

Have just arranged a BBQ for my birthday in August. Hopefully, the weather will be fine otherwise I'll have to go all Evil Genius and create a weather changing device. With that in hand it would only take be a small step for me to consider world domination.

So you all better hope I have nice weather too. Otherwise I can't be held responsible for my actions.

People over on IMDB actually claim War of the Worlds is good. I fear that I don't have enough money to pay for therapy for them all.

May God help them.

Or smite them. Whichever is easier.
War of the Worlds.

Absolute fucking shit or just misunderstood.

Definitely the former. Good lord and I had such high hopes only for it to come crashing down around me. Firstly, I can't be made to put up with Dakota Fanning screaming every two minutes (that quickly got old) it just made me wish that she would die a horrible death. The entire story was weak and ladled with the cheesy sentimentalism that Speilberg seems to thrive on . As for the ending.

Ugh. It just makes me wince to think he even dreamed he could get away with it. Overall, weak story, terrible characters, annoying over intelligent little girl (do girls no longer giggle and play with dolls when they are young? Or are they all mature beyond their years as recent films would suggest), a terrible and unbelieveable ending (which I will not spoil, but you'll know what I'm talking about) the only saving grace were the effects. 2/10.

Talk about ruining my day. It made me despair that I had actually paid money to see it. I'm now going to try and selective erase this film from my mind in the hope it will not taint me further.

Friday, July 01, 2005

Three times in a day, I need help.

If only this were a reference to my sex life. Ah........

Sorry slipped away into wistful nostalgia. But what the fuck, I am BORED. People always say you should get a job you really enjoy, I wonder what % of people actually live their blissful lives in this category. If anyone has a list pass it on, so I can tell them all what lucky bastards they are and that I am insanely jealous and hate each and every one of them for their success.

Back to living the dream (I think it's that one where I turn up to work naked. AND NOBODY CARES.)
Things to do today:

1- Exercise. But avoid stepping in the puddle of sweat this creates.
2- Not ridicule my friends bad facial hair when I see him later.
3- Try to restrain myself from hurling abuse at my boss (this gets harder every day).
4- Recall the joy joy feeling that chocolate inspires, while mourning the fact I'm trying not to eat it.
5- Discover why overtaking someone, anyone, in my car makes me grin maniacally.
6- Avoid spending on ebay for fear of being lured back in by its low, low prices.
7- Investigate whether anyone, outside of school, actually uses an encyclopaedia.
8- Finally settle the hard vs soft ice cream debate.
9- Celebrate Friday in all of its glory.
10- Send a warding spell against Monday, to delay its inevitable approach.
My boss is using work time to sell a car. Truly showing how much she cares for the company. I wonder if anyone else in the firm would get away with this, I think not. The hypocrisy in this firm is staggering.

The ironic fact that I am wasting time writing this, is not entirely lost on me. Ha ha.
Got stuck behind the unholy trinity on the way to work today. A tractor followed by a learner driver and then a bus. My path to work is strewn with the devils own droppings. After undergoing a crawling torture of that magnitude it makes me wonder if getting to work made it all worthwhile.

I doubt it.

Crazed idling process

Things to do:

1-Get a grip
2-Get a girl
3-Achieve absolute physical and mental perfection.

But should all of that go tits up, then I'll just chill out and take it easy. Which, after considerable thought, will be a hell of a lot easier to manage in the short term.

Just finished counting loose change from the drinks machine. I think when they said my job was going to be 'diverse and varied' they meant 'dull and uninteresting' honestly I do jobs that a trained chimp could handle. The irony is, that it would cost a hell of a lot more to get a trained chimp. Typical.

Technically I do marketing. Realistically I do a load of crap. Such is life, at least I'm getting paid. Which is more than some people can say. Though I have to say that this place seems to be run by morons who are just making shit up on a daily basis. I think I may have just described every manager ever. Hmmmm

Did have a bright spot to the day when I gave Titanic 1 out of 10 on the IMDB, badmouthing that film makes me feel better every time. Turning a historical event into a terrible love story. GREAT WORK.

I mean, what next? A new Jack the Ripper film where he only killed to raise money for his blind mother and to provide for two 'cute as pie' orphans. Truly cinema does not get any better.

Still at least it does not get much worse (unless you've seen Battlefield Earth, in which case may God have mercy on your soul). Though big budget films have been spared recently by quality like Sin City and Batman Begins. Long may it continue.

Friday tomorrow so at least I have the weekend to look forward to. Except I don't as I am doing sod all. Got no one to go anywhere with. Wait, I think I hear a tiny violin. Haha. My bloody traitorous heart has turned to emotional blackmail. Bastard.

May go to the flicks with friends and see War of the Worlds. Fingers crossed that the Cruiser dies in it (a major star death has to happen eventually), but I hold out little hope. Have to admit he has turned into a great actor recently, so I hope he puts in a good turn.

Hopefully do some more writing on my novel (second one) but who can say. I think I need someone with a red hot poker to get me to do any work (nothing kinky, this is ALL metaphor I assure you). But I will struggle on.

Home time now. Thank the lord. Why is it that the last few minutes of any day seem to stretch out into an eternity. Something must be done, but I'm too damn lazy to do it. Just let me know when changes are made.